Have You Already Lost Your Children?

I am Scott Harris, and my family and I have attended CBF for almost eight years.  Over the past year or so I have been studying creation and apologetics and have been teaching apologetics at our life group.  Through this study I have discovered some very alarming things regarding our children.  CBF has graciously allowed me to use this blog to share some of the things I have found.   I will be updating the blog at least once a month (hopefully more often) with new information and perhaps to help with any discussions; hence, if you find this posting of interest, check back from time to time for more information.   With that said, let’s get started….

The next time you are in church take a look at around at the youth and children.  Over 2/3 of them will walk away from their faith and God by the time they are out of college.  I have heard about a few times but did not pay much attention to it.  As a parent of a son getting ready for college I started looking at this in more details because I have always thought that it is college life that is making our children walk away from what they were taught when they were younger.  NOTHING COULD BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH!!

A joint survey with Answers In Genesis (AiG) and the Americas Research Group shows that we are actually losing our children much, much sooner than their college years.  The survey interviewed over 22,000 young adults between the ages of 20 and 29 and additional 2000 teenagers.  The survey focused on 1000 people who had been active in church for most of their life.  The survey also focused on more conservative churches so the numbers are probably even worse than the survey shows.

Here are some of the questions and answers from this survey:

IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE – when did you first start to have doubts?

High School                     43.6 %

Middle School                  39.77 %

College                             10.57%

Elementary                       4.37 %

Don’t know                      1.61%

Do you believe that all accounts of the Bible are true?

No                                    44 %

Yes                                   30 %

Don’t know                      18 %

Would you say that questioning was the beginning of your doubt in the Bible?

Yes                                   55.61 %

No                                    31.12 %

Don’t know                     13.27 %

As you can see from the statistics above that our children started having questions about their faith and the Bible were not answered properly (or not at all in some cases) which was the main factor that started them to question their faith.  When they could not get answers they began to doubt the truth of the Bible in some areas and eventually walked away completely from their faith.  You can also see that the normally accepted idea that we are losing our children in college is not true.  We are losing most of them during their middle school and high school years while they are still under our influence.  

You are probably thinking something like “Not my children.  We have taught them well and they are being raised in church.  It has to be someone else’s children”.  Remember the statistics taken from the survey were from young adults who were raised in the church most of their life also.  You may be losing your children and may not be aware that it is happening.

When they come to us as parents we have to give them a better answer that “I do not know” or “Bible history is not important to us today” and to “just trust in Jesus and everything will be OK”.  If we as parents cannot answer their questions and live it out in front of them we will be the ones pushing them away their faith as they grow up.

What are the questions they are asking and what is causing them to doubt the authority of the Bible?  I will answer those questions in future postings but for now, talk to your children.  Ask them if they think everything in the Bible is true and ask them about specific events in the Bible such as the six days of creation, Noah’s flood, tower of babble, resurrection, etc. The younger children will probably say yes but if you really get your middle school and high school kids to talk about their true feelings you may find that they are not sure about some things and not sure how to find the answers they are looking for.

Thank you

Dear CBF Parents,
    “Bittersweet” is the best word to describe how my wife Nikki and I feel right now. When Nikki and I began leading Grapple, we realized God had given us a passion for youth ministry, and we began to pray about this together. We shared this desire to the elders, and they have supported us through prayer and encouragement as God led us through this journey. It was not an easy decision for us, but we feel that God has led us to accept a student ministry position at a church in Plano.
     There is one last challenge I would like to share with parents at CBF. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” My last question for parents is “are you taking time to be still with God as a family?” No, the prayers before bedtime and a meal do not count! When do you as a family just stop, spend time with God together in prayer and reading His Word?
     Many parents say they do not have the time between school, soccer practice, church events, birthday parties and the list goes on and on. I am not saying that these activities are bad, but in our society today, families are more devoted to attending these events than they are to following God. I fear that many parents are more loyal to extra-curricular activities than they are to God and the church. The scarier thing is that your children recognize it.
     After this verse shares about being still, it states that God is going to be exalted among the nations and in the earth. It does not matter how busy you are, God’s name is going to be exalted. You can either stop and dwell with God through prayer, His Word, singing, or listening to praise music; or you can get too busy with life and miss God. Parents, are you spending daily time with God through his Word? Are you striving to “pray continuously?” Are you making a joyful noise unto the Lord? If you are not, then where are your children going to learn it from?
     Here is the question I have for parents who go to church today. Are you more worried about providing your child with a safe, fun, comfortable life, or training your child so they can be empowered to be a believer who aims to glorify God? Parents, let me encourage you to slow down and enjoy the years you have with your children. Model for your children what it means to love God with all you are and model for your children what it means to be a godly spouse.
      It has been an honor and pleasure to serve the families here at Coppell Bible Fellowship the past couple of years. Nikki and I have enjoyed our time here and will miss all of our dear friends, our church body, and the children we have come to care for so deeply. We are excited about the new ministry opportunity and what God has in store for us there, but it is hard to leave our church that has become our family here in Coppell. This Sunday will be our last Sunday at CBF. Please pray for us during this time of transition and as God uses us in a new ministry. Thank you again for all the love and encouragement you have shown us.

Jeff Hunt